The Tiffany Trophy of My Mistakes

Saturn Retro is finally over. However, I have a horrible feeling that it is never really over.

This morning started slow for me. I had one thing in mind, a random woman on my social media talking about how Saturn has been making me miserable for three years. I got a little too curious and found a fancy looking article. “…falling into the shadowy trait of escapism and foregoing presentness and human connection in order to self soothe,” said dear astrologer Meghan Rose, advising me to put my learnings of this retro to good use. So here I am, stumbling and talking about what I have learned, or perhaps what I have not in this case.

Astrology is a very controversial topic for most people. Some believe, some don’t. I am more of a shape shifter when it comes to my beliefs. But we have all had moments in life when something appears so on time, almost feels made for you, and you open your eyes in disbelief thinking, “That’s it. Now it all makes sense.” Astrology is that for me. It might be the slightest light when you are really deep in that black hole.

I was born on March 16, so I am technically a Pisces. If you are a Pisces too, I have some good news for us: the Saturn Retro in Pisces, which began in September 2023, is over tomorrow! Yay right. Even though I am not sure what that is supposed to mean, it makes me think maybe it’s time to reflect a little.

I know astrology might seem boring, especially when it is not about ourselves. But thinking about Saturn made me notice how I’ve spent the last three years escaping, hiding, retreating into my own little box of habits. It’s easier to blame planets than admit that maybe I just didn’t want to face myself.

Is that it? Blaming planets for our lack of personal accountability and introspective awareness?

The funny part is, I did in fact isolate myself, delay my goals, and get lost in meaningless posts for three years. It felt like a self made coma. And I am just waking up. I knew I was able to enjoy my hobbies, get my life’s momentum and old friends back. But for some reason, I blocked myself from getting what I wanted. Some might call it “protecting the peace too much.” I call it self sabotage.

And unlike my other articles, I won’t force you to relate. At this point, it feels like wandering through a huge pile of mistakes and unsuccessful attempts, and it does not matter if I blame Saturn at the end. What happened has happened, right? Today, finally after my Retro, I am glad to say that I know what mistakes I made. Thanks to Saturn, maybe I am more self aware today, but I will probably never stop making them.

This whole blame game somehow got me thinking about tennis legend Roger Federer. Gazing over my dust collecting tennis racket in the corner makes me feel guilty, but Federer’s speech is worth the shame. In his 2024 speech at Dartmouth College, he explained that perfection does not exist. “In the 1,526 singles matches I played in my career, I won almost 80 percent of those matches.”

When Federer said he won almost 80% of his matches, it sounded impressive, until you realize that even at his peak, he was still losing one out of every five times. The greatest player in the world still failed constantly. And somehow, I have been terrified of failing once. Federer made it crystal clear, mistakes are worth more than a Tiffany & Co. trophy.

Talking about Federer makes me think about myself and us again. I keep questioning about how we approach our decisions. Ninety percent of the time, we are so scared of the consequences that we don't dare enough to live. But we don't realize not making mistakes is the only true mistake. Taking accountability but never stepping ahead like I did is not going to solve our “retro.” No matter the year, the sign, or the connected planet. Staying still only causes damage. So why not find the courage and stop being afraid of those mistakes?

Tomorrow when Saturn finally leaves us alone on February 14th feels like the perfect day to check in on the New Year’s resolutions we wrote in January. Not just for Pisces. Not just for the spiritually inclined. For everyone. Maybe this is our quiet reminder that resolutions were never about perfection. They were about momentum. If we slipped, avoided, procrastinated, or hid behind our own “retrogrades,” that does not disqualify us. It just makes us human. And humans are allowed to restart as many times as they need.

Do not worry, Saturn. You might be gone for a good 30 years, but I will keep making more mistakes and I will not credit you for them.

Till next time, I hope you find the victory in your mistakes too.