Hit It 'Til It Works!

It is an international thing: “If it is not working, hammer it.” When we don’t know the reason why a device is not working properly and causing trouble, we often smack it or hammer it. I’m gonna be honest,  it actually works… but just for a short while. We all know that while we are damaging the device, there will be no good outcome in the long term. So why do it?

I was watching this house flip-off show earlier, the ones you watch with your family before going to bed. This old blonde guy was joking about a TV and saying how it’s not working so they should “hammer it” and it’s gonna be like brand new.

And I couldn’t help but wonder,  what about our relationships? Do we think they’ll get better if we damage them just a little?

That same day, I was on FaceTime with a close friend. She was talking about this… talking stage-situationship. Something real, but unnamed. The guy was kind, attentive, genuinely into her, and she felt the same. But still, there was this weight, a silence between the lines neither of them could explain. Instead of sitting with that silence, she did what many of us do: she stirred the waters. Created a little chaos to see what would float to the surface. Picked a fight, pushed a button, made a move. He reacted. She reacted. Feelings got bruised. But it was something, right? Some clarity, or at least some noise to replace the unknown.

And it made me think… why do we do that? Why does conflict feel more comfortable than confusion? Why do we create cracks just to see if things will hold?

Maybe it’s because we fear stillness. Because silence in a relationship can sound a lot like distance, and distance can feel like disinterest. So instead of asking, we assume. Instead of leaning in, we lash out. We hammer it! Hoping that if we hit the right spot, something will spark, something will work again. Even if just for a moment.